Expand your sense of humor with fast quotes, quick wit, convenient clichés, wisdom, fun and clever ideas.

Enjoy hundreds of select quips from comics, classics, editorials, bumper stickers and anonymous sayings. Some are from real life, honest!

Discover the most snarky, smiley, sanctimonious, sentimental, sacred, irreverent, tender, cheeky and enduring short funny punches. These off-beat quotes, pithy adages and short humorous poems cover every imaginable topic, vision and viewpoint.

Escape now into the world of SMIRK.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

If you’re going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it!

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Laughter is the food of the soul,
You cannot live without it.
If you don’t laugh your soul will slowly pine away and die.
Everything you do in life is relative to laughter,
To laugh is to love,
To laugh is to understand,
To laugh is to forgive.
You MUST laugh.
by Ranald McIntyre

Yep, there is a free lunch. If you can find a quote, cliche or quip in the original, Volume #1 SMIRK book that is also the same quote, cliche or quip appearing in Volume #2 SMIRK.

Keep your eyes open as you read the SMIRKs with pen at hand. When you get a sneaky feeling that you’ve already read a certain item in the other SMIRK book, write down the duplicated quote, cliche, or quip, the page numbers and paragraphs (count from the top of pages down) for each volume. Also the duplicated item. Are they identical? Mail information to M. Gregory, SMIRK, 833 Alpha Lane, Prescott, AZ 86303. Include your name, postal address, e.mail address and phone number with all the exact details.
When we find that your information checks out we’ll blush with embarrassment and immediately mail you a certificate for a Free Lunch at a nationally recognized restaurant (fast food franchise) along with a document, suitable for framing; validating your razor-sharp mental powers. Thanks for playing!

What goes on back stage in a comedy club is pretty much like high school. Plenty of back-biting, mud-slinging and nasty digs. Stand up comedians say that comedy is actually a blood sport. They steal eachother’s one-liners, pilfer another comic’s gestures and then adapt the stuff to their own style. They hide the other guy’s props, like the rubber chicken that’s essential in the act of the next artist who is up to go on stage. Just a bunch of high-strung kids!
Most of us Americans feel and think we have a terrific sense of humor. The actual lack of a sense of humor is considered a fatal personality failing. A person is considered incomplete without a funny bone. We may admit that we can’t play golf or sing or cook, but we will never confess to the lack of a sense of humor.

What we need is a good universal swearword.Someone invented WAXYQUEZ to do the job. A tad difficult to pronounce, but it is composed of a few letters that aren’t used frequently: Q. W.X.Y and Z. It was fabricated by Paul Dickson, a wordsmith with high credentials who rambles on about the American language, baseball and 20th century history. He saw it as a good version of the five letters banned from Esperanto, an artificial auxiliary language, which failed to become universally popular. Esperanto was invented in 1887 as a means of making international communication easier. It is based on the root forms of certain words common to the major European languages. The newly created language’s name translates “one who hopes.” It was a good idea but it didn’t catch on. Neither did the all-purpose cuss word.

You solved a sticky mess by using your own unique humor? How DID you do that? What was so troublesome to begin with?

Right now I’m writing a book about how humor gets the way it is and how the funny stuff works. Care to share a predicament at work, at home or among friends that was tidied up by using a joke, a trick, a few weird words or some rancid sarcasm? It could be perfect for one of the chapters in “What’s so %$#! Funny?” and your name would get credit in my book. In case you prefer to remain anonymous, that’s OK.

I, for one, have bought an energy bar because the wrapper said it was fortified with optimism. The nutritional value was secondary. Do you respond to that sort of an ad? What wonders has humor worked in your life these days?

What’s been going on? Write away on COMMENT…I’ll get right back to you. Honest!
AF

One of the healthiest things you can have up your sleeve is a funny bone !

“Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are depressing,” so said E.B. White. So why analyze it? Laughter, smiles and humor usually come to us by way of love, anger, lousy cooking, winning or losing, being a tad naughty or by U.S. Postal Service.
How about the way the British have of defining certain athletes as Boxingers? Huh? It’s sort of logical. In the USA we have Boxing, so let’s go with Boxingers on the sports pages. It’s amusing to us because it’s an unexpected word. They say that humor results when two different frames of reference are set up and a collision is inveigled between them. Boom !